Introducing Yourself Online

First impressions matter, even virtually.

By Scott Allen, Blogger, Speaker, Consultant, Solo Professional

Within the first three seconds of meeting someone in person, you are evaluated by them, even if it's just a glance. They observe your attire, grooming, posture, body language, facial expression and tone of voice. We all would like to think that we're not quick to judge, but the fact of the matter is that the entire rest of the interaction is framed by the context of that powerful first impression.

Guess what? The same is true online.

While the emphasis is placed on different things in virtual interaction vs. face-to-face, your relationship can either receive a significant boost or get stalled immediately depending on the first impression you make. In person, you only have one face, but on the web, we have many virtual "faces" that may provide our first impression to people we meet. Here are a few tips for each of those virtual faces that will help you jump-start your online relationships and build the trust that ultimately leads to real business.

Your Website / Blog

Your personal home page is, well, your virtual home. Is your entryway warm and inviting? Or shabby and in ill repair?
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Are bios of your management team and other key personnel on the site? The social web revolution isn't about technology, it's about people, and the fact that people relate to people who work at companies, not to the companies themselves. If the qualifications of your people have any bearing whatsoever on your business, don't use meaningless phrases like: "Our team has over 100 years of combined experience." Talk about your people. Make it easier for potential customers, suppliers, partners and employees to relate to them.

Is your blog well integrated into your site? In most cases it's best to have your blog be hosted on your own domain, but in cases where it's not, you still want to highlight content from the blog on your main site. Also, the authors of posts should be clearly indicated and their names should link to their bios on your site. Links to the RSS feed and to subscribe via email should be clearly displayed.

Is your site social media enabled? Do the bios on your site link to their social media presences – their blog posts, LinkedIn profile, Twitter ID, etc.? And is your blog social bookmarking friendly, i.e., one-click access to share posts on Digg, StumbleUpon, etc.?

Your Social Media Profiles

In the social web, this is where many people will first get to know you. Does your profile invite them to get to know you better? Or send them clicking to the next one?
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Write in the first person. On your website, bios can be in the third person (and probably should be unless you're a one-person shop), but on social media profiles, it's supposed to be you writing about yourself. If you have an assistant do it, that's just a technicality – the profile should still be written in first person singular.

Be personable. Everyone has their own limits as to just how much personal information they want to disclose, but that's not what I'm talking about here. What I am referring to is to write your profiles in a conversational style. This isn't your formal resume, even on LinkedIn. This is potentially your first conversation with somebody. If you are upbeat and engaging, people are more likely to want to connect with you than if your profile is just a list of facts with no personal context. Check your spelling, of course, but don't feel bound by the writing rules you learned in school – write it like you would say it if you were talking to them in person.

Tell what you have to give, not just what you have to sell. What expertise do you have that you are willing to freely share (business-related or not)? Are you willing to meet people in person? Review people's web sites? Make introductions within a particular industry? Let people know. "Givers gain."

Discussion Forums / Social Networking Groups

With the current popularity of social networking sites, it's easy to forget that virtual interaction has been around for twenty years or more, and the rules of etiquette really haven't changed much.
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Lurk before you leap. Don't jump right in and start posting until you get a feel for what kind of people the other members are, what their conversational style is, etc. More than anything, you're trying to find out if this is a place you want to network before you make your presence known, because you actually damage your reputation if you introduce yourself and then disappear. Better to never say anything and quietly slip away if it's not a place you're going to stay.

The power of "Hello". Start with a personal introduction before you join in the conversation. This gives context to what you say, a critical aspect to good communication. A good introduction should be upbeat, personal, tell a short story, tell briefly about your business without being a sales pitch, invite people to connect with you, and affirm your commitment to participate in the group.

Dive in, but don't splash. Once you introduce yourself, join immediately into the conversation. You should have already gotten your "lurking" over with before you introduced yourself, so there's no reason to delay. However, don't be a boor and hog the conversation. Generally, a good guideline is to be in no more than 2-3 conversations at a time. Also, rather than replying to every single person involved in the conversation with short responses, better to post less frequently with a more thoughtful, reflective response that addresses multiple people's posts. This is the online equivalent of being a good listener, rather than listening just being a matter of waiting for your turn to talk. You'll establish far more credibility this way as being thoughtful and knowledgeable - in other words, an expert.

Twitter

Twitter is definitely its own beast with its own unique rules of netiquette, so I thought it merited discussion of one particular topic:
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Use auto-welcome DM's with extreme caution. One thing that makes Twitter unique is the ability to create an automatic welcome message to new followers (http://TweetLater.com and others provide this as a free service). Some people hate them, period. I've been studying auto-DM's and it's easy to understand why. Roughly 50% of the ones I've reviewed suck. They're more likely to make you lose followers than gain any real business. About 40% are simply pointless. 8% are actually engaging and probably effective. Only 2% really stand out by not only engaging, but clearly establishing the person's personal brand.So what makes an effective auto-DM? Pretty simple, really. I don't want you to sell to me. I don't want your "special report" or your "free gift". I don't want to "click your junk". Just invite me to engage, give me some insight into you and make me laugh. All in 130 characters. It's possible. If you can't do that, don't use auto-DMs.

General

A few more tips to make better first impressions online.
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When a friend introduces you to someone else, follow up. If you're willing to damage your own reputation by not following up with people who approach you directly, that's your prerogative (or perhaps just the reality of your workload – I know I can't personally reply to everyone who contacts me). But if a friend takes the time and effort to make a personal introduction, respect them enough to follow up on the introduction. If you don't, it makes them look bad as well as you.

Photos matter. As publisher and venture capitalist Esther Dyson says, "Photos are what make those sites feel like real communities, and they are an endlessly compelling medium, even when they depict people you don't know and will never meet face to face." You don't have to be handsome or beautiful, just get a photo that truly shows you at your best. If you can't afford to have it done professionally, get a friend with a digital camera to do a short photo session with you. Take LOTS of pictures and pick out the best one. But snapshots from an event? Almost never what you want.

A social media friend/connection request is a lousy way to introduce yourself. In person, would you walk up to a total stranger and ask, "Will you be my friend?" They'd probably cart you off to a mental institution if you made a habit of it. Why is it any different online? Just don't do it. Never, ever, ever invite someone to connect as your first interaction with them. At the very least exchange a couple of rounds of conversation, whether it's in a discussion forum or private messages. Relationships are based on communication. No communication = no relationship, and an electronic link from you pretending otherwise doesn't change that fact.

There's one simple question that will help you always make good decisions about how to engage virtually: "What's the face-to-face equivalent of this?" For example, what's the face-to-face equivalent of showing up in an online community for the first time, not introducing yourself, and just posting an article? I don't know for sure, but whatever is, I'm not going to want to hang out with the person doing it.