Expert Answers
Sort by Date
Sort by Votes
Aug 5, 2014
I think you are mentally ill Thilaga from the day I have known you... get help.. the rest don't need help but YOU..
Apr 27, 2014
When I get upset with a co-worker or client it is usually because we are not communicating very well.
I have to stop myself, take a deep breath and try to talk with that individual with their needs in mind.
Usually if I try to see it from their perspective, the issue is resolved.
Apr 26, 2014
Anger is not a useful emotion and we can chose not to embrace it. I may be upset, disappointed, frustrated, even exasperated but it's still a choice to allow that to turn into anger. I've found that its best to stay silent or respond gently when someone is "pushing" your buttons. Know your triggers and withdraw from the situation. If you can't withdraw, redirect.. As proverbs so aptly advises - "a gentle answer turns away wrath".
Apr 26, 2014
How I would like to respond is to say what to do when one is around anyone who is angry. First of all, one needs to connect to their own truth which means connect to one's feelings, beliefs, perceptions, intuitions and more. If one has a practice of connecting to one's higher self or authentic self, this is a good time to do that as well. Then after one does this first important step, the next thing to do is to set boundaries. The Boundary piece is a way to remind one that they are entitled to their own Truth. If one does this, then they are in the best place to also know everyone else is also entitled to their own truth. Once the boundaries are set, then the best way to deal with the angry one is simply to reflect their truth. Almost 80 % of the time, the one who is angry So, if one keeps reflecting, this helps the angry one hear what they are saying in a way that perhaps they have not been able to do for a very long time. Being heard, almost always will help the angry one feel less angry because after all they are being heard and feeling respected.
At this point, the listener can ask what the angry person needs.
And, thus one can move into problem solving. Typically what happens though is the one who is targeted, does not connect to their truth, does not set boundaries and then we are off to the human races of anger escalation and then the "fight" is not between 2 adults anymore, the "fight" is between 2 irrational children.
Apr 25, 2014
Yes a co-worker, in an indirect manner. In fact a team of co-worker who got me very hurt. Such as diplomatically by building a so called writing standard/ guideline to bring down my standard of writing with many way of criteria. Another so called co-worker an Indian girl who understands the language I speak to fellow home members via telephone calls, sort of actually did translation to the middle /top management. I tried making prank calls and had a catch about her. I couldn't do anything about the team and I understood that those team members actually all of them failed their training they attended prior to employment, despite that they were still allowed to work due to shortage or costs that has already incurred in employing them. Many of them did beat around the bush by just bringing down standards and I left the organization (in fact I was very fond of) with a lot of regrets because I was just sole (or what they call it island management) and don't belong to the majority. Obviously majority wins! My dad said, if you can't be a hero amongst bunch of fools, then you are worsts than those fools!
Apr 25, 2014
Being 'let down' is a trigger for me that can lead me to feel (depending on the context) on a scale from being disappointed to angry. I feel this happens to me because this compromises one of my own core values of not wanting to let others down. Interestingly the converse happens - if someone delivers then my reaction leads me to feel somewhere on the scale of pleased to delighted (depending on the context).
Apr 25, 2014
If I am upset with some one, I think before I speak. Being upset or angry is a temporary emotion so why would you want to allow this emotion? Some people can come off negative, they may want to get under your skin but there is a reason why they are doing it so I keep this in mind.
Apr 25, 2014
Anger is a negative emotion that is best kept under control. It is wasted energy that does not solve much or improve the situation that triggered the emotion in the first place. It causes more problems along the way which include....anxiety, depression, guilt, low self esteem, loss of motivation and incentive.
Apr 25, 2014
Angry is such a loaded word. Co-workers don't get me angry they get me upset. Customers don't get me angry they get me confused.
Is anger a negative emotion? Anger is a response to frustrated expectations. Often those expectations are unrealistic and the anger unjustified but what about when the expectations are justified.
For example the expectation that an employer will maintain a safe workplace (to the best of their ability) and if they chose to create or leave known hazards in place with no warning shouldn't someone who gets hurt feel angry?
Emotions are responses to our interpretation of our environment. They are neither inherently positive or negative.
It is the behaviour that can result from choices we make or don't make when we're angry that can have a negative or positive outcome.