What is your company policy for dating in the office?
I work for a corporate organization that frowns upon relationships within the workplace. I recently have met an amazing man through my work that I would like to continue seeing. I am also very happy at my job. How do I approach this situation in the most responsible and professional way? Integrity and respect are important qualities to me and my company. Should I go to HR and be up front with them?
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Jul 24, 2020
I don't see anything bad when co-workers date. Of course, it should affect the work process, especially if they break things off. Many people don't have enough free time to meet someone in real life, a lot of them try using dating sites or apps. So, if you find a partner at the office, why shouldn't you try? But I recommend to address HR and find out your company policy. Anyway, remember that there is always a way out.
Aug 26, 2016
The Things happens but the limits are always there. The work-flow should not be disturb and the performance should be as earlier.
Aug 18, 2016
I met the person who would become my spouse at the office, as many people do. Discretion is the way to go - it may not keep others from gossiping - but it will keep them guessing. Not to mention the fact that it's none of their business anyway - so be honorable and tactful - and keep your private life private.
Jul 28, 2016
I would find a different job or see if you can be transferred to a different department or location. You already know that the company frowns on relationships within the workplace. So that is already against you.
Jul 27, 2016
Generally it depends on whether the proximity of the parties will affect their performance. Most companies only care when it goes bad and causes in office "issues" and otherwise don't really even want to know about it.
Jul 3, 2016
When I worked at a lawyer company it was ok to date someone from the office, but I never did. The only thing I was always blamed for were dating sites ( http://www.asiandate.com/ , OkC, Match ) I used to hang at. But I was single and very busy to meet someone in real life. I think it's cool when you're infatuated , it is always pleasant to go for a job, you're always in a positive mood, etc.
Jun 23, 2016
It is a tricky difficult and very exciting situation you are in.
Firstly, find out from the HR, so you may know what is acceptable to your employers.
Secondly, If HR responds positive thank your God, but if nay, privately keep your relationship out of the office and away from the corporate hours and venues, that way you wont be seen as someone who doesn't respect the corporate rules and a noncompliant person.
Finally , you need to gradually plan your way out of that job (Vote with Your Legs), it is 100% safer for one of you to leave the organization to keep your relationship if need be and you so desired the relationship more than your jobs.
You must be ready to sacrifice a (Jonah) something to save the ship from sinking....
Thank you
Denzel.
Jun 21, 2016
Investigate what policy is. Certainly there is a P&P manual, or at least a handbook.
Like Jeff said, employer/subordinate relationships are NEVER good. Inter-departmental, as long as neither party has any influence over the other in any way, it might be okay with some, while the "follow-the-book" co-workers will make trouble for you.
Good luck with one of the oldest problems of working for corporate entities.
Jun 21, 2016
In my 40 years of experience across many business types and in various organizational functions at all levels dating where you work at some point creates negative energy. While in most scenarios this negative energy is not intentional it does happen. In leadership roles it becomes very difficult to enter situations without some type of bias. This bias is what begins to consume the leaders earned credibility among all team members.
For example vision for some reason the relationship hits a struggling point and your fellow workers start to pick sides. The first element of team division is born. This division will begin to impact one or more of the basic pillars of business safety, efficiency, quality and ethical behaviors among the people. I would suggest first to analyze your risk in both business value and personal value looking short-term and long-term.
Jun 21, 2016
Personally, I would generally would avoid any relationship linked to my working environment. To quote Tony Soprano in the Sopranos - "You don't s**t where you eat".
However, some people do fall for eachother, perhaps its best to confide in someone else within the company who can be trusted to share this knowledge and they can give you their opinion. Good luck!
Jun 20, 2016
Kayla, the first thing to look for would be your company's stated policy on workplace relationships. Most companies these days spell out the details quite clearly, as a function of better compliance with workplace sexual harassment norms. In case there is no codified policy on this, I would recommend an informal chat with an HR representative, along the lines of "do's and don'ts" in such scenarios. As most people have mentioned, as long as there is no supervisory / direct relationship between coworkers, companies do not typically forbid personal relations.
You have also mentioned "met someone through my work" - is this not a work colleague then, but a client or a vendor? In that case, there may be conflict of interest issues, and you'd be better off mentioning this to your immediate boss / HR, so that appropriate changes in your role, if warranted, can be made.
Good luck - with both work and your personal life :-)
Jun 20, 2016
Relationship in the office is always a bit messy. Firstly you have to face same gossip and secondly, some time spent with each other does throw up conflicts with work demands. Having said that, you don't meet a person you like every day and everywhere hence difficult to give up. Best is to be open about it and not hide as it gets out sooner than later. Just make sure if possible, work in different areas (functions preferably with no work interactions) and keep most of the social contact off working hours. This will be much more peaceful and stress free.
Jun 20, 2016
Honesty is always the best policy in this situation. Word will inevitably get out sooner or later. If you are his or he is your line manager then it can make things awkward when it comes to other members of staff as there will always be a suspicion or fear of favouritism. In that instance and if possible a sideways move to another department might be a good idea. Many people meet at work these days so providing you don't work too closely I don't think it should make any difference.
Jun 20, 2016
I am writing from England, so protocols differ.
However, it is generally accepted that relations in the office, particularly would be "courting partners" are ok, providing it does not interfere with their work for the company or the working environment of the office as a whole.
On a small scale, a branch of a bank in an small English town, a teenage boy and girl got "emotionally involved"; but it was made clear that it was something that was kept outside the office. Actually such was the discomfort, the male decided to ask to change branches.
However, in a much larger operation, which was a bank and a large retail lender (as we would refer to them to-day) had a couple who worked in different departments, and very emotionally involved. Indeed it did result in them getting married, but in the company they were kept very much apart. It was not allowed to spill over in to the offices. Indeed they did have a child, and following the birth and returning to the office the girl thought that the company was no longer for her and left some six months later, moving to another company altogether, although in the same industry.
Interestingly she became pregnant again about 12 months in to the employment of this new employer, and again after giving birth,she left the company altogether and did not work again. This was mainly because other companies would not take her on as she would not confirm that she had finnished her "family planning"; but in any case she had lost interest in work and more to her babies. The father, who still worked with the original company was now earning sufficient to cover the whole family's needs so there was not an issue.
I think the smaller the company, the less likely they are to approve of "husband and wife" arrangement; although in my view, I do not really see that is any business of the employer if both parties are doing their jobs satisfactorily, and there relationship at home is not over-spilling in to the office and affecting their work.
Jun 20, 2016
I would have to agree with Daniel Kline the issue is if it falls apart and the circumstances that have caused it to do so. You have to see this person every day and that may affect your happiness in your job.
Jun 20, 2016
My companies, and my recommendation to others with which I consult, strictly limit relationships, whether dating, married or familial, in certain situations. Of relevance to your questions, we do not permit relationships between supervisors and subordinates or between employees when one has authority over compensation, promotion, oversight or discipline related to the other. We require that employees self-disclose relationships that develop. When possible, we reassign an employee in such a situation to separate the supervisory/oversight relationship. Failure to disclose a relationship has disciplinary consequences.
While it might seem like it's none of your employer's business, relationships between co-workers, whether supervisory or between co-workers, can have morale implications for other employees who may perceive that one is being better treated than another or receiving better performance reviews, wage increases, etc. In addition, when a relationship between co-workers ends, especially when it ends badly, there are often morale and performance consequences for the employees and others around them. A relationship that was loving and caring one week can end up as a sexual harassment complaint in HR after it ends.
Yours might be one of the relationships that works great for a lifetime, and your employer isn't trying to stifle that possibility. The company just recognizes those situations are clearly the exception, rather than the rule.
Jun 20, 2016
The problem isn't Office Romances when they are working, the problem is when they stop working. They can be very disruptive. Leave the relationship at home and if they do exist with coworkers, keep them out of the office.
Jun 20, 2016
Generally speaking, if the relationship is between a subordinate and a superior it would be considered a bad idea as it could be disruptive to the business and / or have legal repercussions, If the two of you are in different departments it shouldn't be a problem. If HR or some other entity wants to make it their problem I would consider that an overreach. Your employer doesn't have the right to dictate your personal life choices.
I am a sole proprietor. I never allow me to date myself at the office.